When I thought about how my 30s would look, it wasn’t this. It wasn’t single motherhood and figuring out how to rebuild my health and my family. It looked more like one of those TV ads, you know the ones, with the handsome husband, happy kids, skinny wife and sun-setting in the background. Aaaaah…the stuff of dreams!
Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.David Bowie
Instead? My 30s looks like each day choosing to walk with God, another step, and just one more. My 30s looks like choosing carefully what to sacrifice – and what to prioritise. My 30s looks like pushing through barriers and holding tight to boundaries in ways I never thought I possibly could. My 30s is hard work.
But you know what? My 30s are good, healthy, whole hard work. The kind of hard work that lands you in the place you were working toward your whole life. The kind of hard work that helps you realise those dreams which seemed unimportant, silly, completely unrealistic for so long. The kind of hard work that sees hearts and minds healed, hard conversations had and relationships deepened, mysteries unveiled, prayers answered, paths cleared, wholeness found.
Yeah, my 30s look nothing like the carefree picture I’d always imagined living my best life would. But I’ve realised, as David Bowie so aptly put it, that as I age, I am building toward, fighting for what was in me all along. For the woman I wanted to – needed to – become, all along.
And though my life is not ticking off the milestones I think it should, despite my days not looking the way I thought they would, I actually am living my best life. My 30s have been tough. But they’ve also been amazing. They’ve been the best of times and the worst of times.
And while I never imagined I’d be roaring toward 40 and single, I am. And you know what? It really isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s amazing. The mysteries, the wonder, the miracles and growth of this season? I wouldn’t change it for anything. My season of being 30-something has revolutionised my life. Nothing looks the way I thought it would. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.
So, sisters? Here’s to living our best life, exactly where we’re at, with the just right season we’re in. Here’s to valuing the woman we are, and the mysteries and wonder she unveils with each passing year. Here’s to the strength and growth we see in ourselves. And here’s to the wonder of growing older, wiser, stronger each year. One day at a time.