I just can’t adult today 6

I find it interesting the way that language evolves and the way that the word ‘adult’ has moved from a noun to a verb.

I love all the memes about “just can’t adult today” because I feel those things.

Like the one that reads: “I hate when I’m waiting for Mum to cook dinner; then I remember I’m the Mum”.

Oh, so very true, I have days like this!

And every now and again I look at my life and ask myself “when will I get it all together?” Because at 45, I am still figuring so many things out.

Like broaching hard conversations with people. I’ve had my fair share of tricky discussions with others over the years. So, why does it never get any easier?

Like keeping on top of the daily to-do list. Why is this so hard?

Like parenting. I’ve been doing this for over ten year now. When will I get this figured out?

The reality of life mean that we grow and evolve, and each day is not exactly the same in an endless Groundhog Day loop. I could spend my days beating myself up about how I don’t even know how to adult properly yet. Or I could approach each day with new eyes, and an appreciation that all of life is a process rather than an arriving.

When I remember that life is a journey not a destination, I have three things that help me enjoy the journey of being an adult, rather than beat myself up about my lack of progress. These are:

Holding things lighter

I am learning that while I make mistakes from time to time, often they are not that big. Laughing at mistakes and mishaps and not taking myself so seriously means that I live lighter.

I also understand that plans will change, people won’t always arrive on time, and others will forget. Holding things lightly frees me from being continually grumpy that life is not going exactly according to plan.  

Unravelling rather than cementing beliefs

In my twenties, my faith and my family were important to me, and they still are now.  But other beliefs or priorities have shifted and changed over the years. I would say that my perspective has changed and my strong views in some areas have softened, as I have encountered the intricate ins-and-outs of people’s stories.  I am more accepting of questions and less requiring of answers as I age.

Giving grace

My biggest learning is a growing understanding of how powerful grace is, and giving others grace in their journey in life while also giving myself grace in mine. We all have a story to tell, we have all endured ups and downs in life, and we all need grace every single day.

I leave you with this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that is one of my favourites.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

About Jodie McCarthy

Jodie is a writer, speaker, poet and mother. An unashamed words girl who writes to process the myriad of experiences of life. In her writing and on her blog she investigates the journey of life: the beautiful; the painful; the everyday; and the mundane. She has a heart for encouraging women on their life journey, particularly when that journey traverses the harder places of grief and pain. On the days when she is not writing you will find her in her kitchen, usually licking the beaters from a chocolate cake. You can find her books and follow her journey at jodiemccarthy.com

6 thoughts on “I just can’t adult today

  • Elaine Fraser

    Love this so much, Jodie. The quote at the end is a great one to meditate on at the end of the day.

    I’m also still struggling with adulting. ?

    We’re all children of God and maybe that’s where we sit in this thing called life. Forever growing up and learning and changing.

    Thank you for sharing. Xxx

  • Helen

    This is so good, Jodie, I have days when I adult well, and others when I have tantrum rivalling a two year old who wants a lolly and is told no! I especially like the quote from Emerson, and am trying to do just that. Thank you for sharing.

  • Gillian Morris

    Hi Jodie,
    I hate to say it but at 58 I still haven’t figured out how to “adult” well. Loved your words. I definitely have softer views now and “winning” doesn’t really matter anymore.
    Life and it’s hard knocks can rub off the rough edges and help us define what really is important. Relationship!!!
    Lick the beaters and let the kids eat dessert first…. sometimes.
    Going to make that passage by Emerson my mantra

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