I find it interesting the way that language evolves and the way that the word ‘adult’ has moved from a noun to a verb.
I love all the memes about “just can’t adult today” because I feel those things.
Like the one that reads: “I hate when I’m waiting for Mum to cook dinner; then I remember I’m the Mum”.
Oh, so very true, I have days like this!
And every now and again I look at my life and ask myself “when will I get it all together?” Because at 45, I am still figuring so many things out.
Like broaching hard conversations with people. I’ve had my fair share of tricky discussions with others over the years. So, why does it never get any easier?
Like keeping on top of the daily to-do list. Why is this so hard?
Like parenting. I’ve been doing this for over ten year now. When will I get this figured out?
The reality of life mean that we grow and evolve, and each day is not exactly the same in an endless Groundhog Day loop. I could spend my days beating myself up about how I don’t even know how to adult properly yet. Or I could approach each day with new eyes, and an appreciation that all of life is a process rather than an arriving.
When I remember that life is a journey not a destination, I have three things that help me enjoy the journey of being an adult, rather than beat myself up about my lack of progress. These are:
Holding things lighter
I am learning that while I make mistakes from time to time, often they are not that big. Laughing at mistakes and mishaps and not taking myself so seriously means that I live lighter.
I also understand that plans will change, people won’t always arrive on time, and others will forget. Holding things lightly frees me from being continually grumpy that life is not going exactly according to plan.
Unravelling rather than cementing beliefs
In my twenties, my faith and my family were important to me, and they still are now. But other beliefs or priorities have shifted and changed over the years. I would say that my perspective has changed and my strong views in some areas have softened, as I have encountered the intricate ins-and-outs of people’s stories. I am more accepting of questions and less requiring of answers as I age.
My biggest learning is a growing understanding of how powerful grace is, and giving others grace in their journey in life while also giving myself grace in mine. We all have a story to tell, we have all endured ups and downs in life, and we all need grace every single day.
I leave you with this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that is one of my favourites.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.Ralph Waldo Emerson