minding my own business… 1

mind yourIt’s funny, maybe it’s my new season as a stay at home mum or the culture we are all trying to navigate but I never feel strong after spending a long time online.

I think the comparison culture of Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Blogs can make us all feel a little internally weaker or inferior.

It’s sneaky.

One moment you are loving your friends posts, the photos, the inspiration, the quotes, the loveliness, then out of the blue you are drawn into some vortex of comparison, shame, guilt, jealousy and crazy bitchiness that you didn’t ever expect to be drawn into.

I am sure some of you out there don’t spend enough time online for this to be a problem, but if you’re a new stay at home mum like me, I suspect you are navigating this as well.

I have decided to stop comparing myself with strangers on the internet!

The reason it is so destructive, is we see everything posted with a glossy filter and it is never as clean, inspiring and real as everyone makes it out to be…

That is why we are so passionate about bringing a healthy and inspiring voice to this online space with our network Kinwomen.

I think social media has created a culture of voyeurism and we watch people’s lives unfold online and without boundaries it can weaken our sense of self.  I love the inspiration, the ideas, the fun, the ease of communication, but I cannot remain strong internally if I get my sense of self worth or value from these forums.

You are not measured by the amount of likes your post receives…

You are not valued by the amount of people who call ‘you a so called friend’…

You are not defined by the filters and the image you portray through your instagram feed…

I have just come off a 2 week phone fast and it was one of the best things I could do to make myself feel more connected and stronger.

I went on holidays with my family and I left my phone behind.

Telling myself to mind my own business and to take time to stop stalking others on facebook.

Do I think the answer is to ban all social media and leave the space?

No, I think it is our responsibility to bring positivity and a fresh perspective here and I love catching up with my friends overseas with ease and creativity. I also love seeing new innovation and inspiration outworked on a daily basis, allowing the positive parts to strengthen my inner world.

But somedays I need to tell myself who is the master of this tool?

Somedays maybe you should mind your own business and stop comparing yourself to people you may never ever meet and capture the moment, rather than publish it.

Do you feel overwhelmed and ashamed sometimes in the online space?

Do you feel jealous and compare your life with others in this space?

Does it make you feel internally weak and vulnerable?

Sometimes me too.

Take time away from it and rediscover how strong you really are and how loved you are by the people who are in your everyday life.

All my online love


Join me on my personal blog: Capture30days

About Amanda

Amanda Viviers has published ten books and is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia. She is also the co-founder of Kinwomen; a network created to inspire women to start conversations that matter. Head of Narrative for Compassion Australia, she is driven by a passion for social justice, she loves supporting projects for women in developing countries. Teaching women to live creative lives, beyond the circumstances, is something she pursues daily. Wife of Charl and Mum of Maximus and Liberty, she lives a creative life, longing to see people live inspired. Pinterest/ Twitter/ @Mandaviviers Instagram: @amandaviviers Facebook: @amandaviviersperth

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