For a tune while you read listen to this link
Nils Frahm “Ode” from Travis Nobles on Vimeo.
So you think you can: be your own best friend.
Ahh Travel, it’s full of excitement and buzz.
But sometimes it’s lonely and it takes your breath away.
Especially that one line from the restaurant host, ‘Dinner for one’?
You realise you’re at it again: solo adventuring in a busy city.
I often get caught up in this moment and find myself lost in a pool of sadness.
You see, it’s a common thing for me to risk it for a biscuit.
In fact it’s one of my favourite things I like about myself.
I’m a risk taker who can’t stand a boring life.
Often my risky decisions have a positive outcome, but they come at a cost.
The cost looks like awkward conversations, silence, tears and that awful feeling of the unknown. .
So, here I am in Singapore eating wasabi crisps, Asian chicken soup and a downing a large bottle of sparkling water. This trip has not turned out how I originally planned. Which I know is the nature of life, but it still sucks right? Sometimes we plan and it works out far better then we imagined. Other times your plans are sideswiped and you are left swimming in the hotel pool with no answers. (Or is this just me who has these moments?)
Here’s the deal.
In two weeks time it’s my birthday.
The older I get, the better I get at this thing called self nurture.
Mum is alive, but not with me 24/7 and can’t wipe away the tears and sing me to sleep. So I take heart in these temporary moments of sadness. They’re speed bumps that require me to be kind to myself.
I sometimes have to get a bit pragmatic when I’m in this space.
If I don’t, I’ll go down to the deepest part of ocean like the Titanic.
So my plan of attack.
01: If I have to travel I book a hotel with a bath. Even if it costs the earth.
02 : I eat soup. It warms my heart and brings me momentary comfort.
03: I cry, even if it’s the ugly type. But I try not to dwell.
04: I get around my friends when I can or I FaceTime them.
05: I take a walk or run with some great music.
06: I get off Facebook for a while. Literally getting off tuning out brings me joy.
07: I shut off email notifications to my phone. Just a little bit of time out from the world.
08: I avoid shopping. I don’t need anymore things to fill my cupboards.
09: I take multiple deep breaths and whisper to myself, ‘ You’re okay’.
10: I I try to go to bed before midnight. Tomorrow will come, it’s best I face it with a rested soul.
Sometimes you have to be your own best friend.
So, My Dear heart,
You are not a fool.
We all make mistakes and this is not the end of the story.
You are not old, but rich in experience.
In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert,
“Defending your weakness is a bad hill to die on”.
Tonight my weakness is risk taking.
But I can’t stay here. Dinner is over, I’ll walk up the hotel stairs now and make that final decision tonight to just love myself.
Night, night.