The Mother of All Regrets 2


Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

Laurence J. Peter

Of course, my children are perfect. Absolutely perfect. Three adult sons any woman would be proud to call her own. But, nonetheless, every now and again (and sometimes more often than that), I see their flaws. I see their vulnerabilities and then am confronted with my own parenting failings. I missed it. I just didn’t get some things right.

I think these misses are my greatest regrets.

For the most part, I can rest easy with my mistakes when I wear the consequences. But I wish this were not true for others. Especially, my boys.

But these kinds of reflections need to be weighed up. We may well regret our actions and decisions but they were the best we could do at the time. They may be wrong in hindsight but they appeared obvious or even only solutions when under pressure or with the knowledge I had.

I wonder what I’d say to myself now as a young mother.

I think I’d say, “Relax. You love him so much you ache for his happiness and feel each of his pains. This is love. This is your gift. Share it liberally. You will have moments of brilliance as a mum. And some pretty shoddy days. Getting it right every time is not part of the package. So relax.

“He just needs the best you’ve got today.” 



About Kelley

Kelley is a speaker, author, overseas aid worker and perpetual student. She is passionate about women and gender issues, both in the local and international context, which underpins her enthusiasm for kinwomen and its contribution to women ‘living their finest life’. In 2014 Kelley completed a Masters in International and Community Development before establishing The Foxglove Project. Foxglove is a registered charity focused on supporting international development projects that are sustainable and driven by indigenous leadership. Kelley’s paid work requires her to travel extensively to evaluate and support projects supported by Australian funds. This experience and networking enables Foxglove to partner with outstanding overseas agencies delivering real opportunities for the poor and vulnerable to lead independent self-determined lives. Kelley combines these passions with a love of family and faith. Across more than 30 years of marriage, Kelley and her husband have worked through many of the challenges of building a relationship while raising three sons. Their boys have now finished high school changing the dynamics of family life and relationships. One of her great joys is sharing parenting lessons and learning from good and bad (sometimes disastrous) experiences. She uses humour and common sense to talk about the everyday challenges facing parents in today’s context.

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