Same Person Next Year? 7


You are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. You are here to create yourself, continuously. 


Perspective is a wonderful thing. I often say to people, I’ve had one marriage but three husbands.

When I say this, I mean that over the 30+ years we’ve been together that we have changed. If I look back at the people we were when we met in our late teens, I can see a lot of core values and components of our personalities, however so much has changed that the me of all those years ago, might not even know the me of today.

One thing we have always been committed to as a couple is to grow. Grow spiritually, personally, as a family, in our work, and in our commitment to serve others. 

These are often lofty goals but broken down into specifics. To grow spiritually, we read something new every month. We listen to uplifting music before we go to bed. We commit to pray about issues that come up in our family.

All of these tiny growth choices we made along the way have meant that we have changed both incrementally and exponentially along the way.

As a writer, I see this as well. My writing in university lacked imagination. In fact, my creative writing lecturer, Elizabeth Jolley (renowned  novelist and short-story writer) made that very comment on one of my short stories. By the way, one of her students was none other than Tim Winton, so maybe in comparison I was lacking! 

If I look at my writing now, I see a development of style and content that reflects the study I’ve done and the commitment to improving my craft over the intervening years. 

When we tackle the small things in our character­–the micro moments of trust, the micro moments of commitment to our work or family, the micro moments of training our bodies, they add up the huge changes we see when we gain perspective. 

The person I am today is not totally who I was a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. The person I am today is the sum of all those micro decisions and commitments I have made over the years.

It’s exciting to think that this is the last month of the year and we still have time to make some of those micro changes that will go towards making the macro changes over time. 

It’s exciting to think about the fact that a new year is coming and that we have the chance to make more of those micro changes.

Who knows how we will view ourselves this time next year? We are continuous creations. With perspective, we will see how far we’ve come. 

About Elaine Fraser

Elaine realised she wanted to be a writer at ten years of age when the words flew off the page during a creative writing lesson. She studied English and Education at university and went on to spend many years as a high school English teacher teaching others how to write. In 2005, Elaine took the plunge and began writing full-time. Since then she has published five books and blogs at Elaine’s passion is to write about real issues with a spiritual edge. When she’s not travelling the world in search of quirky bookstores or attending writing retreats in exotic locations, she can be found in the Perth hills sitting in her library—writing, reading, mentoring writers and hugging her golden retriever.

7 thoughts on “Same Person Next Year?

  • Teresa

    This so reflects my life with my husband of 42 years, just babies ourselves when we married with our first born the same year we married. And yes the changes to both of us over time has enriched our relationship, being married to a man who is happy to look at himself and make the changes he needs to is a reflection of the beautiful person I saw all those years ago. Thank you for reminding me we are all a work in progress ? x

  • Elaine Fraser

    Thanks, Teresa. Congratulations on 42 years. ❤️ I’m glad you have a relationship that’s evolved.

    It makes life so much better and more of an adventure! ?

  • Vanessa Knight

    I am definitely a work in progress, still figuring out what I want to be, who I want to be and what O want to do

  • Maxine Franklin

    So true. Have been married 54 yrs and courted for 4 yrs. Have wonderful husband and know I have changed too. Matured as I’ve grown older.

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