Pretendee calm 1

I don’t know about you, but there have been many times when an issue has arisen in me that has really caused some angst.

I tell myself, ‘It will be okay,’ ‘It’s not a big issue,’ ‘It will sort itself out,’ which is sometimes true but often not, because the issue and internal stress is still there.

It’s a pretendee calm and peace.

True calm and peace comes after we resolve the actual distress and dis-ease.

I can bury it and create a false calm but it doesn’t last because the issue I’ve suppressed will actually rear its ugly head again. Like a troll under the bridge, it just pops up again.

True calm, long-lasting calm, comes after I have taken time to listen to what’s going on within. Being honest and open, wrestling and working to resolve the issues which are causing the dis-ease. Only then am I calm because the tension has been relieved.

Let’s not settle for the pretendee calm, because we are really fooling ourselves.

Long-lasting calm takes a bit of work.

We are up for this Kinwomen.

No Regrets


About Penny

Penny was born in England, raised in New Zealand, lived in America and settled in Perth, Australia. Together with her husband Mark, she is raising a teenage daughter and has twin twenty-something sons. "Coming home at the end of a solid working day to family and friends is my delight" says Penny, Co-author of the book – She’s Not Your Competition. She is a heart-felt communicator who believes in the power of a person’s story. Penny has over 25 years experience as a high level leader and spokesperson in both the private and non-profit sectors with significant public relations experience. She is currently the CEO of South Coastal Women's Health Services, and prior on the Leadership Teams of Rise Network and Riverview supporting people in areas of mental health, domestic and family violence, and children overseas at risk of exploitation. She holds an MBA and MBL, and is a Board Director for the Youth Affairs Council of Western Australia. For the past 15 years she has provided pro-bono support as a mentor for leaders and consultant to not for profits. Penny’s personal life endeavour is a determination to "make life better not bitter".

One thought on “Pretendee calm

  • Elaine Fraser

    This makes a lot of sense, Penny. Pretend calm is something I practice often but it’s not healthy. I’m learning to develop long-lasting calm as you’ve described here. Well done. Great post. ?

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