Parenting is a quandary 1



Parenting children can be the greatest quandary.

How do I help them be confident?

But not overly so.

How do I get them to speak up?

But also, be a good listener.

How do I get them to have a great sense of identity and self?

But prefer others.

This is the art of being honest— authenticity. Allowing them to fail and to therefore have resilience be grafted into their very fibre. In a world that constantly wants to give every child first place, we need to teach our kids how to finish last gracefully.

I often give my children different privileges and rights from each other, and you can find me saying to them “The world is not fair!”

Humility is carved in these everyday places.

It holds hand with grace and growth.

These are the opportunities where we must surrender our will and learn to sit in the seat of the learner.

Parenting is a quandary, but I am so grateful for the challenge every day.


About Amanda

Amanda Viviers has published ten books and is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia. She is also the co-founder of Kinwomen; a network created to inspire women to start conversations that matter. Head of Narrative for Compassion Australia, she is driven by a passion for social justice, she loves supporting projects for women in developing countries. Teaching women to live creative lives, beyond the circumstances, is something she pursues daily. Wife of Charl and Mum of Maximus and Liberty, she lives a creative life, longing to see people live inspired. Pinterest/ Twitter/ @Mandaviviers Instagram: @amandaviviers Facebook: @amandaviviersperth

One thought on “Parenting is a quandary

  • Marlize Venter

    It is, isn’t it? Most days I wonder if I am doing anything right, but then we have a conversation where it sounds as if they get it, and I shine!

    When I look at my children I have hope. I think our youth are phenomenal, and was born for a time like this.

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