Today you are you,
That is truer than true.
There is no one alive that is yourer than you.
This weekend we went up to Perth with our daughter. She proudly came out of her bedroom.
Bright Yellow Pants
Captain America Shirt on
And her ‘Anna’ Frozen dress, with the train that drug across the ground.
She marched over to the shoe bin, I knew what she was going to get. Looking for the gold, glitter ‘clicker’ dress shoes. To top off the outfit.
They didn’t fit, so she opted for the hot pink runners, backwards on her little feet.
Our children teach us so much about how to feel deeply into each moment. Be that with their Captain America / Princess ensembles, their needs for cuddles before bed, or their insistence on doing things independently.
They haven’t been tarnished by the ‘societal expectations’ of managing, muting or suppressing one’s feelings. I’m not sure when that happened to me. Maybe it was a pivotal moment, or maybe it was a conglomerate of many. Either way, I began avoiding feeling.
My way of not feeling my emotions was by shoving them down by escaping to food. Having sought treatment in 2016 for a binge eating disorder, one of the biggest learning points for me was to learn how to feel emotions. To let them wash over me. To let feel joy, sadness, anger, disappointment, anxiety and stress. To learn that I could cope without funning to pans of brownies, bags of chips and bars of chocolate.
To know that in me, I had the skills to feel my life. Each moment of it. Deeply.
I didn’t have to run anymore.
Every time my daughter gets dressed, or sleeps in her princess dress, or refuses to brush her curly hair I’m reminded that she’s living in the moment that she needs. She is giving herself the permission to be present, fully, in her life.
And I too have space now to cultivate that same sense of permission in my life. In my marriage. In my business.
I hope is that for you, who are reading this, that you know that you are deeply loved. And when those emotions wash over you, give yourself the compassion, space and attention to fully process them.
Give yourself the permission to be fully alive.