Living my best (shabby) life



‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.  

Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’  

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’  

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.

Margery Williams Bianco,The Velveteen Rabbit

Hair fell out in the shower today. It does that these days.
And I really need to do some yoga today – my bones are stiff and tired.
There are bags under my eyes today. Double bags. So glad they’re not triple.
Feeling a bit shabby today.

With my worn down hair, tired eyes and stiff bones.
I’m feeling a bit shabby today.

Look in the mirror. Lines. Creases. Wrinkles. Tired. A little bit sad.
Honestly? Feeling a bit shabby today.

Look in the mirror. You’re doing well girl, you better believe it.
And it’s ok that you’re feeling a bit shabby today.

You’re living your best life, as they say.
And it looks a bit shabby today.

But you’re doing so well girl, you better believe it.
Even though you’re feeling a bit shabby today.

And look at everything you’ve done. Look at those small wins. Those big ones.
Despite feeling a bit shabby today.

You’re doing amazing girl, and you better believe it.
Don’t despise that you’re feeling a bit shabby today.

Look in the mirror girl. Really, look in the mirror.
It’s not just the shabby that I can see today.

Your eyes are alive. Your smile creases happy. Those wrinkles line stories.
You may feel a bit shabby today. You’re feeling a bit real today.

And never forget – you’re living your best life today.


About Joni Leimgruber

Joni lives just outside Sydney in the beautiful Hawkesbury region with her three children. Having journeyed through depression, marriage breakdown and some of the other curve balls life can throw, she is passionate about cheering others on and encouraging them to embrace themselves and their story. She is terrible at telling jokes and regularly comes down with foot-in-mouth disease while blushing profusely. Joni writes to encourage other single mums on Instagram at @singlemumsthriving.