Grief: Just show up. 2

Recently when the death of my father took my breath away, I was impacted by a very simple act.

The community of friends and family who just showed up.

I had flowers delivered, boxes of fruit left on our porch. Meals made, children babysat, and people walking into our lounge room with tissues and a hug.

I can’t really describe what it was like to walk through a period of intense grief, in the pandemic of 2020. Maybe I still need time to really find the words that I am looking for. Maybe I never will. As the world was facing a severe crisis, my own father battled a four-month terminal journey of Motor Neuron Disease, that just went so fast.

What I can describe, though in this season of confusion and lament is this…

I remember the people that actually showed up. Those who sat and listened on the phone. Those who sent me letters and presents of remembrance.

Neighbours who put out our bins.

Friends who stood outside the church at the funeral, when our number limits were small and family who carried bags of snacks into the hospital room, as we said our last goodbyes.

Never forget the power of just showing up.

It is the truest act of standing alongside those who are grieving.

It’s the greatest gift we can give to our community and friends.

About Amanda

Amanda Viviers has published ten books and is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia. She is also the co-founder of Kinwomen; a network created to inspire women to start conversations that matter. Head of Narrative for Compassion Australia, she is driven by a passion for social justice, she loves supporting projects for women in developing countries. Teaching women to live creative lives, beyond the circumstances, is something she pursues daily. Wife of Charl and Mum of Maximus and Liberty, she lives a creative life, longing to see people live inspired. Pinterest/ Twitter/ @Mandaviviers Instagram: @amandaviviers Facebook: @amandaviviersperth

2 thoughts on “Grief: Just show up.

  • Tina Critchell

    Yes, I lost my dad March just gone and still find it hard to talk about without crying. But yes, friends turned up and showed their love and support, such a wonderful gift to give when someone you love is hurting, to just show up.
    Tina ?

  • Tara

    I totally agree Amanda… actions are sometimes even more powerful than words! & when you don’t know what to say, just like you said… just turn up & be there! xx

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