Enough is enough


Recently I was de- friended on face book, from someone who was a part of my world and it really disturbed my peace.

Have you been de-friended off facebook or blocked on instagram?

How did it make you feel?

I get the reasons why we do it. Large lists of friends who post crazy stuff we are not interested in, ex- bosses who are no longer a part of our worlds. I am not talking about these examples, I mean when we are blocked by someone we have had tea with, someone whose been to our house for dinner, with no conversation about what matters. People in our worlds.

My lack of peace, had nothing to do with whether I was friends with this person online (we have since had coffee and caught up), what unsettled me was the culture we are immersed in that makes it so easy to shut people out of our lives.

This online reality that we all face, is creating dysfunction in the way that we communicate and relate to one another especially as women.

This is one of the reasons why we began Kinwomen. We wanted to bring a positive voice of change in this ever evolving culture.

I am far from perfect, battling everyday how I respond, grow and change in this arena.

One moment, a person who we have never met, is adding us and calling us friend on facebook and in the next moment someone who sat at our table, who you had enjoyed many cups of tea with, suddenly is now: de friended! Is that even a word?

How do we find peace between our everyday realities and our online persona’s?

When will our competition and comparison ever end?

When will the dysfunction by all our editing, filtering and opinions stop?

What will happen to society if we don’t make peace with our online selves?

When will we say enough is enough.

As a mother of young children, it is easy to spend my days numbing my reality with a quick flick through facebook, a long linger on instagram and a fantasy laden session on pinterest.

It is easier to flick a friend an instant message on facebook, than the same amount of time it takes to press call on the same device and have a normal conversation.

We live vicariously through other aquaintences holiday photos, forgetting the discomfort, the custom lines, the travel sickness and the arguments that were never posted about.

We shout at each other over status debates and feel upset when we ignore each other in the supermarket aisle.

When will enough be enough?

When will we make peace with our online personalities and reality of our everyday lives?

I kind of think peace can be found in the bottom of a tea cup, surrounding the tea leaves found floating in the bottom…

or maybe in the mixing bowl of a cake made with kindness or the hot oven of some muffins baking.

I kind of think peace will be discovered when we lay down our phones, drive over to our friends house and sit on their front step, even when we have deeply disappointed them in our behavior and words.

I think peace will reign when we smile at the forgotten, stop gossiping about the woman having the affair, when we sit quietly listening to the addict and we love the unlovable.

I think peace is available to all of us.

But it will take some of us saying.


This month I am committing myself to start conversations that matter, logging out often and sitting with a friend over coffee.

Hoping to find peace; in an online saturated world.

Peace from within and peace all around.

Amanda Viviers

About Amanda

Amanda Viviers has published ten books and is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia. She is also the co-founder of Kinwomen; a network created to inspire women to start conversations that matter. Head of Narrative for Compassion Australia, she is driven by a passion for social justice, she loves supporting projects for women in developing countries. Teaching women to live creative lives, beyond the circumstances, is something she pursues daily. Wife of Charl and Mum of Maximus and Liberty, she lives a creative life, longing to see people live inspired. Pinterest/ Twitter/ @Mandaviviers Instagram: @amandaviviers Facebook: @amandaviviersperth