To be loved & famous … you need to first be skinny & pretty.

When I sit across from coaching clients, mostly via zoom, I often hear the words streaming out of their mouths “I just don’t feel like I look like someone who is an influencer, or has any chance of being successful on social media. I don’t feel like … I’m well… pretty enough.”

It reminds me of a time, when I was 24 years and yearning to deeply be loved and seen by my boyfriend. He was my first real boyfriend and I really wanted to show up for him in all way. He was much older than me, had traveled the world, and was wildly successful as a consultant during the mining boom.

He was also a deeply wounded man, who projected his own sense of rejection upon his partners.

He’s deep requirement: Skinny, thin, petite.

I crash dieted for that man. I ran twice a day, lived off of long blacks, Diet Cokes, religiously tracking points and fat-free yogurt.

It worked. He said what I thought I needed to feel secure in our relationship: “you are finally skinny.”

He didn’t say he loved me. He didn’t say I was intelligent, vivacious, tenacious, funny, interesting, or beautiful.

He said I was skinny.

And in a world, where the dieting rhetoric is SO strong in all generations for women, we are often sold and believe that:

skinny = loved / important / famous / worthy / lovable / successful.

As I progress through and with my journey of recovery from a Binge Eating Disorder, I recognise so deeply the pangs of many women’s hearts to find love, self-acceptance, and beauty in their lives. It’s often so interwoven with appearance and the curation of social media feeds that are deeply unattainable.

Yet, we still buy into it. The dieting and wellness industry are a Billion+ dollar industry preying on many souls of women who are not necessarily looking for overt fame and fortune — but are looking for belonging and significance.

Skinny won’t bring you any of that. Promise. I’ve tried.

About Mish Pope

Mish is certified Life Coach and successful entrepreneur who has found her calling serving women looking to reduce burnout and increase their sense of joy, radiance, and adventure in their lives. She is passionate about empowering women to compassionately explore and work through areas of critical self-talk, perfectionism and burnout. She is also deeply committed to unearthing true freedom for herself and for women who are caught in the elusive trap of ‘hustling’ through life and business. As a recovering perfectionist, Mish creates space online, in-person and through writing to empower women to start their own journey of discovering their own sense of self, courage, radiance and flow in their lives.