I can feel him shrinking away from me. At the school gate in the morning, checking who is close by. Maybe it’s the memories of the bully who shamed him last year, leaving remnants of not enoughness.
Also I think it maybe because he now reaches for the computer game controller rather than his beloved soft toys.
But I can feel this shift and transition, in the space in between.
They told me this would happen, that my little boy who was once my second shadow has now become my sometimes friend.
Even though I knew this would come there are moments like when he runs out of the classroom at the end of a big day, so fast that he bowls me over. It is in these moments that I hold on a little longer than I am supposed to, especially at the school gate.
Finding ten seconds to spare and my heart beating slower as I remember what it was like to be his only friend.
Ten second hugs are my intention for my family and all I meet this year. Because we all need a little extra.
Have you got a hug,
or two
or ten seconds to spare?
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