She’s not your competition; Day twenty

blog headerEight Qualities that Build and Retain Trust

Peace – relationship that is always about hard work or striving gradually depletes rather than restores people. Such relationships will falter.  We often resent relationships that are built on comparison.  Most often we seek out and sustain relationships that bring ease, a peace between you that makes the friendship no less valuable because it comes easily.

Joy – this quality captures feelings of laughter, fun and deep satisfaction.  In and outside the workplace, connection is not always built on the BIG things but on the ability to laugh, feel and appreciate the beauty in the moment.

Generosity – there is more than enough love, success, fame and fortune to go around. If we believe this then we seek opportunities to add to each other’s lives rather than take or minimize. Generosity is not about degree or external demonstration but the spirit or motive that we observe in the other person.

Wisdom – as life passes we become increasingly aware of what we do not know. We are reliant on the wisdom of others and it is critical to choose relationships wisely. Wisdom is more than knowledge.  It is the capacity to apply knowledge to situations and make decisions, however difficult, congruent with your intended destination (rather than simply indulge how you are feeling at a given moment).

Courage – when challenges come, then you look to the people around you to inspire courage and help you stay standing when you feel you cannot go on.  It seems, the more difficult the challenge, the greater the need for hardy friends, those resilient people who know it’s never over.

Kindness – society may well have lost or sanitized the importance of this word yet I see it as potent. Nothing can inspire courage and hope like a well spoken word or expression. In workplaces that can be toxic and harsh, the kindness of a colleague is water to the soul.

Truth – to hear the truth and speak the truth are often uncomfortable bedfellows.  Instead of truth there can be an inclination to ‘reward’ only encouragement and positivity (well disguised flattery) but this comes at a cost.  What if we could speak and hear truth held in tension with kindness and loyalty?  Truth presented with kindness and coming from a person who we know to be on our side!

Loyalty – though we need to hear truth from one another, rarely is it desirable in a public setting. Instead we ask that friends hold our confidences, protect our reputation and always cast us in the best light in presence of others.  When we find that in the workplace then we have a ‘circle of trust’ that can withstand many differences.

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About Penny

Penny was born in England, raised in New Zealand, lived in America and settled in Perth, Australia. Together with her husband Mark, she is raising a teenage daughter and has twin twenty-something sons. "Coming home at the end of a solid working day to family and friends is my delight" says Penny, Co-author of the book – She’s Not Your Competition. She is a heart-felt communicator who believes in the power of a person’s story. Penny has over 25 years experience as a high level leader and spokesperson in both the private and non-profit sectors with significant public relations experience. She is currently the CEO of South Coastal Women's Health Services, and prior on the Leadership Teams of Rise Network and Riverview supporting people in areas of mental health, domestic and family violence, and children overseas at risk of exploitation. She holds an MBA and MBL, and is a Board Director for the Youth Affairs Council of Western Australia. For the past 15 years she has provided pro-bono support as a mentor for leaders and consultant to not for profits. Penny’s personal life endeavour is a determination to "make life better not bitter".