Create a Resolution 1

Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been. Alan Alda

The word create is such a powerful, positive word that is used to inspire the new, fresh and innovative, but I also want to acknowledge that creation often requires hard work, and facing fears and inadequacies, to receive the outcomes we are often desiring or aspiring to realise.

Take, for example, the world of relationships with our partners, family or work colleagues – there are times, many times when we know it is right to help Create a Resolution for an underlying issue, disturbing behaviour or a disagreement.

Experience tells us that helping Create a Resolution may well require a huge amount of courage for us to organise to meet and discuss a difficult relational situation  – and few people find the thought of facing difficult situations and people enjoyable – but the choice is ours.  We can allow the situation to continue as it is, to continue to feel how it feels and hope it goes away, or we can help Create a Resolution and a better future for all concerned.

Recently, a work relationship and project became very challenging.  It was the disturbed and sleepless nights that were proof that things were not fairing well for me.  I had two clear choices – do I allow the person to continue their bullying ways and the situation to negatively unravel both me and the project, or do I undertake, what I call, ‘Collaborative Confrontation’ with a person for a better future.

I know we don’t like the word ‘confront’ – it does sound a touch ‘in-your-face’ but we understand this word. What I  mean is that we are prepared to face the person and the situation, front-up and organise a meeting for a conversation because we are not going to let a behaviour or issue continue because it is unhelpful, toxic, hurtful, or just not ethical and right, or simply needs some closure.  We are seeking to Create a Resolution for a better future.

I believe a resolution for a better future, lies firstly in taking courage to face a person and situation, and secondly, and more importantly, determining the approach we will take. We have two choices when it comes to our approach:

1. An Aggressive, Competitive approach, or
2. An Assertive, Collaborative approach

I have seen aggressive, competitive people at work in their home relationships and I see it often in the work environment.  Their result may well have brought about a resolution to a situation but it has left people damaged, confused and less trustful.

Surely, the best way would be to take an assertive yet collaborative approach.

To be assertive is important because it means we are prepared to step forward, to be confident in the rightness to bring about a resolution for people even if we have had to face a trillion of our fears just to organise that first meeting.

To be collaborative means we step forward and enter the meetings and discussions with a spirit and heart that is prepared to listen well, seeks to enlighten and understand all views, and is hopeful to bring about a mutual recognition and resolution.

I believe in our ability to Create a Resolution for a better future.

No Regrets – join me

Penny