Learning to Love the Person I Found


I was 18 when I met this guy. Oh, he was so full of spunk.

I was intrigued by his mystery and adventure. Attracted to both his rebellion and his kindness.

It was 2006, we were driving down a gravel road when he pulled over and opened my door –  “I can’t wait anymore, please be my girlfriend”. ha! Still makes me laugh.

I did nothing to fall in love with this guy. That happened all on its own.

In the words of anonymous – “Falling in love is both passive and spontaneous”

But he goes on…

“Sustaining love is not passive nor spontaneous. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort and energy. It demands wisdom. The key to succeeding is not solely reliant on finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found”.

A decade on and some days I’m acutely aware of how different he is from me.

His rebellion not so cute. ha!

That difference that made me fall in love, on days can drive me crazy!

I wonder if so much difference is normal and if we will be ok with that forever.

But most days I embrace it. Because love takes time, it takes effort and energy.

So I drink the flat white, he has the xx chocolate frappe.

I read the paper and he watches espn sport.

We laugh loud and kiss long. And it’s all kinds of wonderful.

Reinventing your marriage is sometimes just about perspective.

Forever learning to love the person I found x



About Karina Chicote

Karina Chicote is a strategic leader for an international child’s rights organisation and writer and presenter on radio for Kin Women. She has a Master’s Degree in Human Rights and has designed and led award-winning programs for Aboriginal children and young people. Karina has worked across the globe on campaigns in London, asylum seeker centres in Papua New Guinea, the UN General Assembly in New York and now leads strategic projects across Western Australia. Karina was a finalist for the WA Youth Work Awards in 2015 and 2016, recognising her leadership and commitment to creating change for the most vulnerable young people in our communities. Above all Karina is a wife to Lance and lover of their Pug Brixton, who amidst the seriousness of changing the world make her laugh, a lot.